What Does it Mean When He Does That?

Each person is unique and every relationship crisis, dilemma or situation is unique. When people write out their questions to me and seek my advice, I definitely take them on a case by case basis. That said, I’m also noticing a definite pattern in the questions I’m getting.

 

The biggest question seems to be: “What does it mean when he says or does this or that?”

 

I will probably add more to this list in the future, but here’s advice in two different scenarios:

 

1.       Why did he stop communicating with me? When a guy texts you every day and suddenly stops answering all your messages and doesn’t communicate for days at a time, let him go and STOP BUGGING HIM. I know it hurts your feelings, but he has lost interest in you for whatever reason. Perhaps you were opening up too much; maybe you were getting too clingy; maybe you seemed too needy; perhaps it seemed you were moving too fast and wanted too much from him. I’m not sure, but if you keep writing to him, you’ll just irritate and annoy him. Don’t take his rejection so personally. If he doesn’t find you relationship-worthy, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you; it just means you weren’t a good fit for each other. Let him go, learn from your mistakes, and move on with your life. Find another guy. (Actually, this advice could apply to men too.)

 

2.       What does it mean when he’s flirting with me? Of course, if a guy flirts with you it means he likes you. That can be a really good thing. A guy has to do something to get your attention somehow and flirting is usually positive, successful, and harmless. It can even lead to a good, strong, long-term relationship. However, in some cases, a guy who flirts might just be a ladies’ man and not be all that into you exclusively. He might want zero long-term commitment and desire only to have sex with you. You can flirt back a little and have fun, but be cautious. These guys are very good at what they do and well-experienced. If you’re looking for a husband, do your research. Find out more about him. Watch him closely. Does he flirt a lot with other women? Does he date and dump frequently? What do his past girlfriends say about him? Highly flirtatious "Dater-Dumpers" are usually one of the following: 1) not the marrying type at all; 2) the marrying type who will probably be divorced soon after marriage; or 3) not serious about marriage yet, because they're still young and immature and want to “sow their wild oats” before settling down. Let's hope your guy is not a "Dater-Dumper" unless he's #3 and, even better, a guy who's capable of being committed and loving for the long-term. If you're not serious about a long-term relationship, just flirt back, go out on some dates, and just have fun!