Call me old-fashioned, but I’m just not into the whole texting
thing. My husband and I run a business and we find it more relational to answer
the phone and talk to people—with our voices. What’s funny to me is how many
people respond with a surprised, “I can’t believe you actually answered the phone!”
It’s true that most businesses these days have a recorded answering system, a
maze of choices to make, and numerous buttons to push before you get to a live person—if you get to a live person at all.
Maybe it’s just me, but don’t you think you’re relationship
would be more personal if you talked with your real live voices once in awhile?
I’m even more shocked at how many people contact me on wizpert.com for advice
and they tell me they’re “seeing” someone, but they don’t really ever “see” him
or her or talk on the phone to each other. They just text.
I have had both men and women ask me how to get to the next
level of a relationship. Many couples have been texting each other for weeks or
months. I’ll tell you how to move on in your relationship: You have to talk to
each other—either over the phone or, better yet, in person. That’s where I get what
I consider odd feedback from people. Many couples don’t want to be the first to
make the move. I think they’re seriously afraid—afraid of rejection, afraid of
not knowing what to do, afraid of not knowing how to act or what to say in a personal
encounter. Texting is familiar, comfortable, and safe. The problem is, it keeps
many couples stuck in a rut.
If you’ve been texting for a week or two, it’s already time
to move on to the next level. Guys, I hope you’ll be the ones to make the first
move, because most girls love a can-do man who knows what he wants and goes for
it. Girls want to be pursued. The pursuit makes her feel desirable,
irresistible, and attractive. Don’t wait for her to initiate. Too many guys
wait for the girl to make all the moves and it’s not attractive. (But more on
that topic in another blog.)
Don’t know what to say? Start with asking questions: What’s
your favorite food/flower/TV show? What’s your dream vacation? What was it like
for you growing up? What kinds of movies or books do you like? Asking just a
few questions can get just about anyone talking. If and when you meet in
person, look at each other in the eyes, hold hands, sit close to one another
while watching a movie together. I know these seem to be foreign concepts to
most of today’s dating population, but I think you’ll be happily surprised at
what human contact can do for a relationship. Yes, I’m old-fashioned, but if
you’re trying to build a potentially long-term relationship that could lead to
marriage, try to get to know each other as friends and save sex for the wedding
night.
So, once again, get out of your comfort zone. Be bold. Be fearless. I know it's hard, but risk rejection. Text
one last message asking to meet in person (or talk on the phone or video
conference); then stop texting so you can move ahead in your relationship. I
think you’ll be glad you did.
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