CAUTION!
Computers can be monitored and are impossible to clear completely. If you are afraid your internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please close this site immediately and use a safer computer.
Computers can be monitored and are impossible to clear completely. If you are afraid your internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please close this site immediately and use a safer computer.
From the sound of my title, it may seem that I’m
anti-father. Nope. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love my father. I
love my husband who is a father. I respect and admire all good fathers. I think
children should have relationships with good, kind, loving fathers. However, I
have seen what happens to children who are in the custody of abusive fathers
and the effects are very damaging to the children.
It is all too common for a woman to finally escape from her
abusive partner, attempt to protect her children from their father, and then
have the courts rule that the parents share 50/50 custody of the children. This
is due to the powerful agenda of the “Men’s Rights Movement” or “Father’s
Rights Movement.”
Father’s rights… Sounds good, fair and just, but it’s all
smoke and mirrors. The Father’s Rights Movement is a powerful lobby group that often
works on behalf of men who have abused their partners/wives, attacking the children
as a means of continuing the abuse of the partner or wife that got away. Many innocent, well-meaning fathers may think that joining this movement will help them and their children, but may they be forewarned.
For several years now, the Father’s Rights Movement has
gained ground in the fight against women and children in custody cases. However,
the children caught up in these custody battles have been growing up, moving
out, moving on, and speaking out against their fathers—fathers who punished
their ex-wives for leaving an abusive situation—fathers who fought and “won” in
court by getting 50/50 custody of their kids—fathers who abused their children
after being granted legal custody. I guess none of these fathers thought their
kids would someday grow up, get brave, and tell the truth.
Today, there is hope for women and children victims of
violence. These adult children of abusive men are making a difference for the rights
and safety of children. They are telling the truth and these truths are strong
arguments against the Father’s Rights Movement:
1.
Men who beat or otherwise abuse their wives are
likely to beat or otherwise abuse their children. (Isn’t that pure logic? How
could anyone think otherwise?)
2.
Witnessing domestic violence is child abuse. A
man who used to beat or otherwise abuse the mother of his children will likely
beat his next partner or wife. The children will, once again, witness domestic
violence.
3.
Children who witness violence against their
mothers suffer behavioral harm, emotional harm, irreversible physical damage to
their brain development, and other types of physical harm, such as insomnia,
headaches, stomach aches, diarrhea, ulcers, and asthma.
4.
Children who witness family violence are more
likely to enter into dysfunctional relationship, commit crimes, and either become
abuse victims or continue the cycle of violence by abusing their future
partners.
5.
When a father gets 50/50 custody of children,
the abuse against the children’s mother does not end. “In almost three-fourths
of spouse-on-spouse assaults, the perpetrator and survivor were separated or
divorced at the time of the incident.” (Jack C. Straton, PhD of Portland State
University and the National Organization for Men Against Sexism
(NOMAS), in his article titled, “What is Fair for Children of Abusive Men?”)
It is also a well-known fact that a woman’s chances of being killed by her
abuser are much higher after she escapes. All of this, of course, adversely
affects the children.
6.
Abusive men often abduct/kidnap children as
another means of retaliation against partners who left them. There is no need
to mention all the ways that this damages the children.
These are depressing facts, but I want to end this blog
entry with hope. Mothers who are fighting for the rights and safety of their
children against corrupt judges, the powerful Father’s Rights Movement, and abusive
exes, there is hope for you and your children. The truth is coming out and the
tide is turning. Adult children of abuse are speaking out on behalf of your
kids and “the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)
Where can you find practical hope right now? One place I
urge you to contact is Family Justice Centers of America (FJCA) at http://www.familyjusticecenter.org/.
I will write more about this wonderful and very powerful organization in
upcoming articles, but for now, I want you to find the Family Justice Center nearest
you and call or write to them. Even if there is no FJCA close by, advocates for
women and children will do their best to help you.
Source:
Source:
Jack C. Straton, PhD of Portland State
University and the National Organization for Men Against Sexism
(NOMAS), in his article titled, “What is Fair for Children of Abusive Men?”
This article is completely biased against fathers and fathers' rights group. Why does the author start with the assumption that in every case fathers are abusers. It might well be that mother is falsely accusing the father of abuse to keep the children away from him as some sort of retaliation.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely biased when it comes to the safety of children. I believe that good, kind, safe fathers should be able to spend time with their children. However, I am writing about the "Father's Rights Movement" which is, unfortunately, not about protecting children at all; it's about protecting fathers'/men's rights. If men truly care about the safety of children, they should join a children's rights organization.
ReplyDelete