Does God Allow Spousal Abuse?

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Does God allow spousal abuse? Well, He might allow it the first time, but after that, NO! Consider the character of God. There are many passages in the Bible that speak of God's love and kindness. Do you think God wants people to be safe and protected? Do you think God wants you to be safe and protected? Do you think you’re an exception to God’s love, kindness and protection? Do you think He loves you less than other people?

Hear this truth: You do not deserve to be abused, no matter what lies you have been told or what lies you choose to believe about yourself. If you’re in the midst of an abusive marriage, chances are your head is swimming in lies, you’re confused, so allow me to assist you by asking and answering the following questions:

God might have allowed you to be abused initially in your marriage and I'm certain it came as an utter shock to you. However, God never wanted you to remain in that terrible situation to be repeatedly injured. God has provided a way out for you, according to His Word. I wrote of it before in an earlier article titled, God Commands Divorce—in Certain Circumstances, but here it is again: In Exodus chapter 21 God commanded a husband to treat his wife with respect by providing for all of her needs. This is most certainly a law of God for the safety and protection of women and it certainly does not allow for spousal abuse. If a husband did not provide for his wife’s needs, he was commanded by God to divorce her. A bit shocking, isn't it? But it should not be as you come to better understand God's loving character and how much He deeply cares for you according to His Word.

Here's an example of God's love from the New Testament in 1 John 4:7 and 8 (NIV): “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (emphasis mine) Perhaps you do not now feel God’s love as you are crushed under the weight of an abusive spouse, but once you are free and your mind has cleared, I promise that you will feel God's love for you again. In fact, I pray that you will feel His supernatural, everlasting love for you even now, in the midst of your trial.

God’s kindness is stated and praised by His people throughout the Bible. (See Psalm 36:7 and 117:2, for starters.) Again, you may not be able to feel or experience God’s kindness for you in the midst of suffering, but I pray that you will soon ask Him for guidance in how you can be set free and I hope that you will sense His kindness despite your current despair.

You are not an exception to God's love. Once again, you may feel unloved and unlovable, but there are many verse in the Bible stating the truth of His love for all of His creation, including you. 1 John 4:16 (Complete Jewish Bible) states: "Also we have come to know and trust the love that God has for us." (emphasis mine) Read that verse again aloud. Let the meaning soak into your spirit. In fact, change "us" to "me" and let God speak it to you personally. Note that the verse does not read, "I feel God's love" or "We have come to feel God's love for us." You have to trust and believe God's love for you, whether you feel it or not.

Do you think God loves you less than others? Some women--especially abused ones--believe that God loves men more than women. That is a complete lie. There are many places in the Bible that speak of God’s love for all people, both men and women. I shall remind you of only one here: Genesis 1:27, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” God created both men and women in His image and He created them as equals. Don’t let an abusive man in your life to tell you lies concerning how much God values you as a woman.

These everlasting truths from God’s Word only scratching the surface of how much God loves you and wants to protect you from abuse. It's time to start believing in His desire to protect you and keep you safe from harm.